


The Only Star That Guided Me Was You

by FairythePigeon (Me_aGlorifiedPigeon)



Series: The Fun in Dysfunctional - A Sanders Family Collection [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Not Really Character Death, Possible Character Death, Remus basically lives only to protect, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, failed suicide, which is not GREAT but at least he's starting somewhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23871190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Me_aGlorifiedPigeon/pseuds/FairythePigeon
Summary: I've seen dark before, but not like thisThis is cold, this is empty, this is numbThe life I knew is over, the lights are outHello, darkness, I'm ready to succumbI follow you around, I always haveBut you've gone to a place I cannot find___Remus is in the hospital after driving his car down a cliff and into a tree. No one has told him what happened to Roman.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: The Fun in Dysfunctional - A Sanders Family Collection [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1471418
Comments: 11
Kudos: 80





	The Only Star That Guided Me Was You

**Author's Note:**

> I was struck with inspiration while trying to write the fourteenth chapter of AUOR, so have angst!

Remus had cried himself out nearly an hour ago. He was on suicide watch now, his wrists shackled to the bed so he wouldn't hurt himself. Mom and Dad had tried to drag Virgil away, but that little angel just clung onto his big brother and wouldn't let go. They ended up going themselves to talk to the doctors. Remus wondered how Virgil could even stand to be near him.

_"I'm with my brother- he won't wake up-"_

Roman's face had been slack, his eyes closed, his forehead covered in blood that dripped into his hair. Remus could picture it vividly, and wasn't that an uncomfortable thought? He couldn't even remember how he passed his driver's test, but he could remember his dead brother as he hung beside him in their upturned car. Remus clenched his fists tightly, opening and closing them.

_"How was I supposed to know people were hurting you if you didn't tell me!?"_

Roman's face before they drove off the road was ingrained in his memory too. His brother had never been so terrified in his life, face entirely too pale, eyes so wide they could've popped out of his head. Remus hunched in on himself as much as possible. He killed his brother. He killed his baby twin, the one person he'd been trying to protect since he was born. He drove off a cliff, intending to die, and killed his baby brother.

_"Not me, get my brother! Get Roman, he won't wake up!"_

Oh god, had he died before the paramedics arrived? Had he died beside Remus as he called the authorities, as he sobbed and wept and tried to get help? Had Roman's life been so cruelly snuffed out while he was still hanging upside down beside his murderer? How could anyone, how could _Virgil_ , as pure and as light as he was, manage to look at him? He was the lowest of the low, having killed his own brother. Remus could only hope and pray that Roman had at least died in the hospital. That Roman had been far away from his killer when he finally left this life. But he knew with his luck, his brother had died right there beside him, before the paramedics had even arrived.

_"REMUS!"_

The terror in his brother's voice as he cried out his final word, the final thing he would ever say, would never leave Remus. How selfish of Remus to attempt to take his own life and only succeed in killing his brother. He deserved to live, deserved to suffer and deal with whatever life dealt him. He had wanted so badly for so long to just be released of this life, released of his own toxic self, and now he'd gone and killed his brother. He deserved to hear the fear in his brother's voice for the rest of his miserable life.

_"I do care about you, you're my twin brother and I love you!"_

Remus' entire body was shaking now. "Virgey."

Virgil stirred. He clearly hadn't been asleep, it was obvious in how he blinked up at Remus, far too alert to have actually slept. "Re?"

"Virgey, I love you. I love you so much, I love you a lot," Remus blubbered. He didn't know he had more tears to shed, but they came unbidden anyway.

"I love you too," Virgil said, and his small hand wrapped around Remus' fist. "I love you a lot and I'm glad you're okay."

Remus sobbed. "I need help."

"I know," Virgil whispered. "Mom and Dad are gonna get you help."

"Is Roman-?"

"Mom and Dad won't tell me. I think he's in surgery," Virgil explained. Remus' heart sped up.

"Surgery?" He asked. Roman had to be alive to be in surgery. Roman had to be holding on.

Virgil nodded, and he bit his lip. "Re... I'm really scared."

_"Remus is scary." "-we're stuck and I'm scared-" "We scared Virgil and we don't know what to do!"_

Remus felt something flare up in his chest. Some kind of angry defiance, some kind of instinct he'd only ever used in relation to Roman. "Everything's going to be okay, Vivi. I'm going to make everything okay, I promise."

Virgil buried his face in Remus' chest. Remus wished he could hug his little brother, but he wrists were still tied to the sides of the bed. Instead he just nuzzled his head as best he could against Virgil's. He was going to make things okay. Even if Roman... even if Roman died, he'd make things okay for Virgil. He still had a baby brother to take care of, after all.


End file.
